Fuck How It Looks, How Does It Feel?

How many times have you chased something because of how it looked? Maybe it was that relationship that seemed perfect, the job that sounded amazing on paper, or even that version of success you saw on social media. We chase these things, convinced that once we get them, we’ll finally feel worthy, deserving, validated, and recognized. But here's the catch: even when we *do* get them, we often find ourselves still miserable. Why? Because it’s not about the things themselves—it’s about the feeling we think they’ll give us.

We think if we just get the perfect job, we’ll feel successful. If we land that dream relationship, we’ll feel loved. If we achieve that next milestone, we’ll feel enough. But the reality is, we’re chasing a feeling, not the actual thing. And those external achievements can never truly fill the void if we’re not paying attention to how we feel along the way.

The Trap of Appearances

We spend so much of our lives worrying about how things look. We want to look successful, to have the “perfect” life that everyone else admires. And in today’s world, where social media is a constant highlight reel, it’s easy to get caught up in appearances. We see the vacations, the promotions, the “relationship goals,” and we convince ourselves that we need all of that too. If our lives don’t *look* like that, then we must be doing something wrong, right?

But what we don’t often talk about is how many people who seem to have it all are deeply unhappy. They’ve checked all the boxes—they have the career, the relationship, the lifestyle—but they’re still waking up every day feeling empty. Because they’ve focused so much on how it all *looks* that they never stopped to ask, *How does this actually feel?*

Chasing Feelings, Not Things

Here’s the truth: what we’re really chasing isn’t the job, the relationship, or the success. We’re chasing the *feeling* we think those things will bring us. We want to feel worthy, validated, loved, secure. But we’ve been conditioned to believe that external things will create those feelings for us. Spoiler alert—they won’t.

The job won’t make you feel successful if you’re not already aligned with your purpose. The relationship won’t make you feel loved if you don’t love yourself. The recognition won’t make you feel worthy if you’re constantly seeking validation from others.

We’re chasing the wrong things. We’re so focused on how things look that we never stop to question whether they *feel* right for us. And that’s where the real work begins—letting go of appearances and learning to prioritize how you feel.

Why Feeling Matters More Than Looking the Part

Living a life that looks good on the outside but feels bad on the inside is unsustainable. It’s exhausting. You end up constantly performing, constantly trying to fit into a mold that doesn’t actually serve you. But when you start to pay attention to how things feel, everything changes.

It’s not about what the world expects from you—it’s about what you need for yourself. It’s about creating a life that feels good, that brings you peace, joy, and fulfillment, regardless of how it looks to others.

So, ask yourself: How do you want to feel in your life? Do you want to feel loved? Successful? Peaceful? What’s missing right now? And how can you start focusing more on the *feelings* you want to create, rather than the external markers of success?

The Power of Choosing to Feel

when you start prioritizing how you feel, you stop chasing things that don’t serve you. You stop living for validation from others and start creating a life that feels right for you. And that’s where the real transformation happens.

It takes courage to let go of appearances, to stop worrying about how things look and start focusing on what actually brings you joy. It means checking in with yourself regularly, asking yourself if you’re living in alignment with what you truly want to feel.

Fuck how it looks. How does it feel?

That’s the question you need to be asking yourself. Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how it looks to anyone else if it doesn’t feel right to you.

So, how does your life feel right now? And if it doesn’t feel good, what are you willing to change?